1 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,040 What can I say about Niall Kennedy? 2 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:44,640 He's funny. 3 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:49,360 He's odd. 4 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:54,080 He's awkward. 5 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:57,520 He's determined. 6 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,080 He's devoted. 7 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,080 He's self-sacrificing. 8 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:10,880 He knows what he wants… 9 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:13,840 and he takes it. 10 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,600 I remember the first time I met Niall Kennedy. 11 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:29,200 I was only a kid, around seven at the time. 12 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,320 The wee bastard was terrified of me. 13 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,120 I suppose it didn't help that I would terrorize the wee fucker, 14 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:40,480 but he was such easy prey. 15 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,640 Always wore a shirt with the top button done up. 16 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:45,560 Made his head look massive. 17 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,680 We'd play hide and seek, and he was so scared of me, 18 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:55,720 I would find him in the most random of places. 19 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,520 Under cars, on top of bookcases, 20 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,280 at the end of the road in other people's gardens. 21 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,600 I remember this one time, it was raining, and I'd long given up finding him, 22 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,040 but the poor wee bastard was so committed to the game, 23 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:12,480 he developed pneumonia. 24 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:23,120 And there was this other time. He said, "You hide, I'll seek." 25 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:27,120 And I hid up in the attic space under some random tarpaulin. 26 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:28,840 But he never came. 27 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,080 When I walked down the stairs half an hour later, 28 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,040 the wee bastard was tucking into my birthday cake. 29 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:43,720 But that's Niall Kennedy. 30 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:46,760 He knows what he wants… 31 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:49,920 and he takes it. 32 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,800 Here, stand. 33 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,680 Come on. Stand. 34 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:12,160 Come on, how long's it been? Let's go. 35 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,760 All right. That's it. 36 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:27,760 So… 37 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,120 here's to Niall Kennedy. 38 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:33,840 A man who knows what he wants… 39 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:36,960 and he takes it. 40 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,320 - Call me Daddy. - Yes, Daddy. 41 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,480 Yes, Daddy. 42 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,400 Hey, can I print something off? 43 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:40,080 Oh, you are out of credit, I'm afraid. 44 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:44,080 Look, this is the proposal to my follow-up novel. 45 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:45,920 I don't wanna send it over email, 46 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,360 'cause I don't trust my publisher to read it properly on screen. 47 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:51,480 Can you do me a solid? Just this one time? 48 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,760 I don't know, Niall. The boss hates it when I do this. 49 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,080 Well, the boss is a prick. 50 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:03,960 Come on, do this for me. 51 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:06,880 Promise I won't ask again. 52 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,000 Fine. Last time, okay? 53 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,160 Thank you. Thank you. 54 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:49,920 So, what do you think? 55 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,480 Just not really sure what it's all about, you know? 56 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,200 I mean, the journey the main character goes on. 57 00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:01,240 Well, you know, it's all about being true to your roots, 58 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,480 not selling out on yourself. 59 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,120 Well, I mean, if getting an Oxbridge education 60 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:05,200 is selling out yourself, 61 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,360 I hate to think what other impossible standards 62 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:08,640 this guy holds himself to. 63 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,240 Look, it's a proposal. 64 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,680 All these things will come out in the wash. 65 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,640 Yeah, you said that about your last book, and I hate to break it to you, buddy, 66 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,560 but I think there might be a problem with your filter. 67 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,600 Not to mention the fact that it's clearly been cobbled together 68 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,280 between one too many nights out. 69 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,040 What? No, it hasn't. 70 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:28,680 You spelt "Glasgow" with a seven. 71 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,240 Look. 72 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:38,160 All we're looking for here, Niall, is a little more… 73 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,960 authenticity when it comes to your writing. 74 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:43,240 My writing is authentic. Come on, Daniel. 75 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,880 You read my first book. It was straight from the heart. 76 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,440 The one about the boy who tries to communicate 77 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,400 with his deceased father. What was authentic about that? 78 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:49,480 Well, all of it. 79 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,400 My dad died when I was young. I never knew him. 80 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:53,440 Well, that was evident from the reviews. 81 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,880 Look, you've just gotta try opening yourself up a little bit more. 82 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,360 It's what they all say, Niall. 83 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:05,040 The key to a good career, in all of this, is learning how to tell your own story. 84 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,720 - Oh, do they now? And why's that? - Well, it's quite simple, really. 85 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,080 Write about what you know. 86 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,160 Hello. How you doing? 87 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:36,320 Yeah. 88 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:44,640 Fuck! 89 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:45,920 Fuck! Gus! 90 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:54,280 Wait! Wait! Niall! Please! Please! 91 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,560 Well, this has got to feel good, right? 92 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:07,280 Not really. 93 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:10,840 You won't tell anyone, will you? 94 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:12,400 No. 95 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,240 But only because describing it would place me at the scene. 96 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:16,640 Yeah, yeah, I hear you. 97 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,320 Plus, it's the doggers’ code, isn't it? 98 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,760 "Wherever we wheel, our lips are sealed." 99 00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:26,560 - I've never heard that before. - No, it's because I made it up. 100 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:30,040 Look, do you fancy going for a pint or something? 101 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,600 - No. I should… - Come on, man. 102 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:34,400 I've just been caught buggering in a car park 103 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,360 in the dead of night by the kid I bullied at school. 104 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,360 I'm standing here with no shoes on. 105 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,600 Look at my socks, Niall, for Christ's sake. 106 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:42,680 Wallace and Gromit. 107 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,120 Accept my humbling, will you? 108 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:51,760 Come for a bloody drink. 109 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,480 - Fuck, I hate lager. - Me too. 110 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,000 So, are you… 111 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:29,560 out? 112 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,000 No way. I'm not even gay. 113 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,360 You sleep with men all the time, don't you? 114 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:34,920 I mean, you must do, going to a place like that? 115 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,360 It doesn't mean I'm gay. Would be gay if I fell in love with them. 116 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:39,240 Oh, you're one of those, are you? 117 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,600 A man so straight, he fucks men. 118 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,080 Are you so vegetarian too you eat meat? 119 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:49,000 - Yeah, it's a fucking mess is what it is. - Ah, you're fine. 120 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:50,720 It could be worse. 121 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,400 Could be married with kids. 122 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,040 I always had my suspicions, you know? 123 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,640 You used to love a wedgie. 124 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:05,840 Yeah, it was a whole mix of things. 125 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,480 Plus, your brother put me bang to rights over all that, remember? 126 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:12,640 Pissed sideways for about three months afterwards. 127 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,960 I didn't condone that, really. 128 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,120 I saw him the other day, you know. 129 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:20,240 Still puts the fear of fuck in me. 130 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,080 Sorry, what did you say? 131 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,320 Your brother. I saw him just the other day. 132 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,000 What? 133 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:32,800 - Where? - In the street. 134 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,400 No, but wait, it can't have been him. He's still inside. 135 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,040 Well, nah, mate. He got out. 136 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:41,320 We spoke for ages in the end. He'd met some chick. He was working… 137 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,520 Wait, I'm sorry. He's working? 138 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,640 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Up on the rigs in Aberdeen. 139 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,360 Three months on, three months off. 140 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:49,960 Even gave me his card. 141 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,040 Jesus Christ. 142 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:00,680 What the fuck's a slinger? 143 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:02,800 I've no idea, but you can keep it, 144 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,800 just in case there's a tracker in it or something. 145 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,480 You're not winding me up here, are you? 146 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,400 - He got out? - Yeah, mate, I promise. 147 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:13,960 He got out. 148 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:28,200 It's Ruben. He's out. He's out of prison. 149 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,000 What do you mean you know? 150 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,200 - I know. - How? 151 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:35,800 What, did Maura tell you? You're not still speaking, are you? 152 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,400 - Kind of. - What do you mean "kind of"? 153 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,800 - I thought things were finished. - They are, Niall, 154 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:42,720 but we still see each other from time to time. 155 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,000 Yeah, but you didn't think to tell me that any of this was going on? 156 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,200 Well, how could I, Niall? You're never bloody well here! 157 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:48,960 - Well, you could have phoned. - You never pick up. 158 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:52,280 I leave you four voicemails a week and never get anything back. 159 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,080 The last one, I pretended I'd fallen down the stairs 160 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,480 and was on my last dying breath, and you still didn't call. 161 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:00,640 Well, I knew you were faking it. 162 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,080 Was I faking my birthday too? 163 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:06,320 Wait! 164 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,800 I just don't understand what the plan was here. 165 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,440 Were you just gonna plot and scheme and hope I never found out? 166 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:15,040 Oh, you make it sound like I'm enjoying it. 167 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:19,160 I have deep facial contours devoted to the pair of you bloody idiots. 168 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:22,560 I felt nothing was to be gained from you knowing anything about each other. 169 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,840 It runs the risk of him killing you, or you dying from the worry. 170 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,760 Yeah, but what if he finds out where I am and he comes looking for me? 171 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,120 I highly doubt that. 172 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:34,640 He's hardly gonna bump into you on Brunswick Avenue, is he? 173 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,400 Or in Kelvingrove Park men's toilets at 2:00 p.m. 174 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,400 with your pants around your ankles? 175 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,200 And you wonder why I don't come around here anymore? 176 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,360 No. Wait, wait! 177 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,760 I'm sorry! 178 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,880 Everything I did, I did to protect you, Niall. 179 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,600 But I… I still don't understand. When did he get out? 180 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,160 I don't know. 181 00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,800 - Two years maybe. - Two years? 182 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,360 - Are you kidding me? - That's a good thing. 183 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,440 That's two years where he hasn't come looking. 184 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:06,240 But… 185 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,480 have you seen him? 186 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,440 Yeah, a few times. 187 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:15,480 Right. And did you mention me? 188 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,760 - I may have. - Well, come on. What did he say? 189 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,840 He didn't say anything. He just… smiled. 190 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:26,200 Okay, that's good. That's good. 191 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,240 Was it like a… like a nice smile? Like a fond one? 192 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,600 - Look, I can't lie to you. - Well, what kind of smile? Come on. 193 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,120 I don't know! 194 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,320 Sort of with his mouth and not with his eyes. 195 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:42,840 You know, the one he tends to do before he kicks off. 196 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:30,600 I've only got ten minutes. 197 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,880 Darren has to visit his mum's today, so I've got the kids. 198 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:33,960 Yeah, no worries. 199 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,440 Well, look, Joanna, I don't want to worry you. 200 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,520 Ruben. 201 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:41,800 What? How do you know? 202 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:46,280 Look, I didn't want to say, but I bumped into him not too long ago. 203 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,120 He was doing this thing where he was going round 204 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,520 apologizing to people he'd wronged in his past. 205 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,280 Christ, this is crazy. 206 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,240 I mean, going round and saying sorry to people, 207 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,400 that doesn't sound like Ruben. 208 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,880 Well, he's been in prison for God knows how long, Niall. 209 00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,800 - That's bound to change someone. - No. 210 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:03,680 No, people like him don't change, Joanna. Come on, you know that better than anyone. 211 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:04,880 I don't know. 212 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,800 - He seemed different. - Right. 213 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:09,960 Wow, Jesus. 214 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:12,880 He must be coming to me to apologize next then. 215 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,040 No. He said I was the last one. 216 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,880 - Well, that's bullshit. - How? 217 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,760 Because he owes me the biggest apology of his life. 218 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:25,240 - Don't do that, Niall! It's embarrassing… - He messed up my life, Joanna. 219 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,640 And I dropped out of Oxford, I was so stressed with it all. 220 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:31,160 - I thought you didn't like the snootiness. - No. That too. 221 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,760 It was… It was a combination of both. 222 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,480 Look, I think you'd better put this out your mind, Niall. 223 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,080 But how can I put this out of my mind? 224 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,400 I mean, I just found out he's working some fancy job on the rigs. 225 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,120 - Well, what's wrong with that? - Everything! 226 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,640 What does it teach him about life if he comes out to some cushy existence? 227 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:51,600 Meanwhile, I work my arse off every day, and I'm rewarded with what? 228 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:54,120 Dreg payments, handshakes and promises. 229 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,840 Look, I get it, Niall. 230 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,160 It's hard seeing someone you have so much history with 231 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,320 doing so well. 232 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,800 But maybe it's not the fact he's changed that bothers you. 233 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,320 It's the fact you haven't. 234 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,440 Shut the fuck up! 235 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,640 All right, chill. Breathe. 236 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,960 Here. Let's get your stuff out. 237 00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:06,480 Come on. Here. Put this on. 238 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,120 - There you go. - Thank you. 239 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,560 I think I know what this is about. 240 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,280 - My comments the other night. - No, actually, it's not. 241 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:56,320 I don't mind you being gay, Niall. 242 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,080 - It's the way you go about it. - It's about Maura. 243 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:07,000 What happened, Mum? Did the cancer come back? 244 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:10,000 No. 245 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,760 She hung herself, as it happens. 246 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,480 The rope snapped after about a minute. 247 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,120 Left her near brain dead. 248 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:28,240 Oh, my God. Mum, that's awful. 249 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:30,760 It's life. 250 00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:35,560 I mean, did she leave a note? 251 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,680 Kind of. It was more of a list of things to do. 252 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:42,360 "The cats are in the shed, the keys are under the plant pot." 253 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:45,520 There was something so matter-of-fact about the whole thing, which… 254 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,280 made it all feel worse somehow. 255 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:51,360 Like it was just another thing to do that day. 256 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:55,800 Well, look, I'm… 257 00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:59,480 I'm sorry I haven't been around much. 258 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,160 I mean, you get it, right? The way you reacted? 259 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,160 I was just shocked. 260 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:07,080 I mean, how was I supposed to feel when my brother calls me to say 261 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:10,400 he found you rogering another man in a public toilet? 262 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,520 I blame myself, really. 263 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,640 Should have spotted it sooner in you. 264 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:17,760 It's like looking for my glasses, 265 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,800 only to find they were sitting on the bridge of my nose the entire time. 266 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:27,720 - So, that's why Ruben got back in touch? - Yeah, he contacted me from prison. 267 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,000 He needed my help looking after her. 268 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:31,800 So, all this happened whilst he was inside? 269 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,440 Yeah, but don't go blaming yourself, okay? 270 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,840 She was in debt, she had aches and pains, all kinds of things. 271 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,440 Niall, I want you to promise me here 272 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,240 that you're not going to go blaming yourself. 273 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:53,240 I promise. 274 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:15,200 Hey, Stefan. 275 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,640 You couldn't do me a favor and print this off? 276 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,000 Sorry, mate. The boss was raging last time. 277 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:22,480 Well, you couldn't ask, could you? 278 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:26,920 - Nigel? - No chance. 279 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,880 Sorry, bud. No can do. 280 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:34,320 You're a sad man, Nigel. 281 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:37,520 A sad, sad man. 282 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:44,800 So… 283 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,680 would you like to tell me why you were in the toilet cubicle 284 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:50,400 with another man this afternoon? 285 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:51,720 Well, it's quite simple, really. 286 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,000 We were talking creative ideas, 287 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,960 and we didn't want to disturb the rest of the library. 288 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:57,840 You must think I was born yesterday. 289 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,160 No. Don't worry, Nigel. I've never thought that. 290 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,960 Look, you can't keep me. So, if you're gonna ban me, 291 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,880 - just ban me already. - No. 292 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,120 It's a little more than a ban, actually. 293 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,040 I was all for sexual liberation 294 00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:17,480 until it started seeping its way into our public services. 295 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,840 I started doing it when I saw the library coming up 296 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:29,640 on Google searches, "Renowned cottaging spot." 297 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,160 What are you intending to do with this footage, Nigel? 298 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:37,360 Upload it online. Make an example of you. Stop anyone else trying it. 299 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:41,720 What? No! Please. I mean, why me? I'm not the only one. 300 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,440 You let the other guy go straight away. 301 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,120 I know. Because you're the constant. 302 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,920 Okay, look, what can I do to make you not do this? 303 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,240 You can pay your fine. 304 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:00,760 What, my… my printing debts? 305 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:02,480 Well, that's easy. What is it? Like, 20 quid? 306 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:04,080 No. 307 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:05,160 I'm looking here, 308 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:08,800 and the computer has it down at 2,000 pounds. 309 00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,400 What? That's ridiculous! Where are you getting those figures from? 310 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:12,480 I don't know. 311 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,120 All those books you sold online perhaps? 312 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:23,280 Okay. 313 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,240 I'm sorry. I've been in a bad place. 314 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:30,200 But listen, there's no way I sold thousands of pounds' worth. 315 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:35,040 No. But that's the rate I'm charging to buy them all back. 316 00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:38,080 Oh, come on, Nigel. You're a librarian, not a bloody lawyer. 317 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,000 No. 318 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,160 I'm just a sad, sad man. 319 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,480 I just need two grand. 320 00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:54,160 - Two grand? - I know it's a lot, 321 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:55,960 but I'll pay you back 10% on every pound. 322 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:57,040 See it as an investment. 323 00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,920 Don't be like those stockbrokers who chose not to invest in Amazon. 324 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,160 You have a high opinion of yourself, don't you, Niall? 325 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,040 For someone caught buggering in a public toilet yesterday. 326 00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:08,280 Oh, come on, Joanna. I am begging you here. Please. 327 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:09,800 Don't make me go to my mum. 328 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,280 You wouldn't believe the things she said to me 329 00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,160 - when I got caught the last time. - Like what? 330 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:15,520 She called me a pervert. 331 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,320 Said she didn't mind a gay son, she just didn't raise a deviant. 332 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:19,480 She said that? 333 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,320 Go on, Bubby. Run to Auntie. Go play. 334 00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:35,360 Look, Niall… 335 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,040 I still have a lot of love for you, 336 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:41,760 but bailing you out every time you're in a tough spot 337 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:43,880 is clearly not helping you turn your life around. 338 00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:46,280 Where is this coming from? 339 00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:49,480 I can't do this anymore, Niall. 340 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:53,720 I have three kids to look out for. I can't handle one more. 341 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:58,200 Please don't visit us anymore. 342 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,520 What happened? Gay stuff? 343 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,480 Don't say "gay stuff," Mum. 344 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:40,840 Well, come on, what was it? 345 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:44,760 Gay stuff. 346 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:49,680 I was caught in the library toilet having sex with a man. 347 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,920 And now, the manager's threatening to upload the video unless I pay him off. 348 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:54,720 Which library? 349 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:56,400 Clyde Park Library. 350 00:30:56,480 --> 00:31:00,480 Jesus, Niall! They do school trips there. What's your excuse this time? 351 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,920 - I was just exploring myself. - Exploring yourself? In a library? 352 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:07,040 - Yeah, it's not as crazy as it sounds. - Oh, I don't know about that, Niall. 353 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,080 I mean, would you bring a book to a fucking brothel? 354 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:12,960 Look, I get that it's hard for you to understand, 355 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:15,080 but I'm almost there in terms of figuring myself out. 356 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:16,160 Are you now? 357 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,920 You got caught shagging a man in a library ten yards from where they stock Peppa Pig! 358 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,160 Great to hear you're almost there! 359 00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,440 What's it gonna take to push you over the edge then? 360 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,200 A fucking intergenerational gangbang? 361 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:29,880 You're insulting my struggles here, Mum. 362 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,240 I'm insulting my struggles. They're my struggles too. 363 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,240 At least you're the one cumming. Jesus Christ. 364 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:41,600 What do you need? 365 00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:51,520 Two grand. 366 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,600 Impossible. I'm a social worker. 367 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,760 I couldn't get you it if I robbed all the people I work with. 368 00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:57,960 - You don't have a pot somewhere? - I used the pot. 369 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:00,120 I used the pot the last time you had a breakdown 370 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:01,640 when you needed to go into the madhouse. 371 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,640 Hospital, Mum. It was a hospital. 372 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,600 A hospital is for arms and legs. It was a madhouse. 373 00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,920 You sat around in circles talking about God. 374 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,800 You don't get much madder than that! 375 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:12,760 Enough of the jokes, Mum! I need money. 376 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:14,640 I'm not ready for the public to think I'm gay! 377 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,240 Then stop having sex in it. There's your answer. 378 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,080 Mum, I am begging you, please. Surely you know someone that can help? 379 00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:24,040 I do, but you won't like it. 380 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:28,080 Ruben? 381 00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:29,800 Are you serious? 382 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:32,320 How can you even ask me that? 383 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:34,720 After what he's done, putting me in this position! 384 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,880 Oh, yeah? He put you in a public toilet, did he? 385 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,320 I suppose he pulled your cock out your pants too! 386 00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:44,360 I am talking about the turning point, the seed of all of my issues. 387 00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:45,440 Oh, the seed. 388 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:47,880 You're always talking about the seed, aren't you? 389 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,440 First, it was Dad. After Dad, it was Maura. 390 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:51,880 After that, it was Ruben. 391 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,760 Then it was the court case and the Oxford elite, 392 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:56,240 and now we're back to Ruben again. 393 00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,040 Great! Glad you see it so clearly. 394 00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:00,600 Turns out your glasses have been on your face this whole time too! 395 00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:07,080 See, this is your problem. 396 00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:11,000 You are too busy blaming everyone else for your issues 397 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,160 because it's easier to point the finger than turn it back on yourself! 398 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,840 You're acting like my breakdown was my fault! 399 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,760 It was! You made yourself sick. 400 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,160 "Mum, was I right to tell the truth on the stand?" 401 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,800 "Mum, I had to, didn't I?" You became obsessed with it. 402 00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:27,440 Nothing I said would help. 403 00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:30,120 - I was ill! - You were self-involved! 404 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:36,120 Now, as far as I can see, you are out of options here. 405 00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:37,480 No doubt about it. 406 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,480 So, either you let me ask him for money, 407 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:43,960 and I will disguise it by saying it's for me… 408 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,160 or you can face the music on your own this time, 409 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:50,800 because I won't be helping. 410 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:53,520 Wait a minute. 411 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,680 - Have you done this before? - Well… 412 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,040 You've used his money to pay for things for me? 413 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:03,360 Well, of course. 414 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:04,680 Where did you think it was all coming from? 415 00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,040 Well, you remortgaged the house. I thought you had stuff left over. 416 00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:09,840 I mean… 417 00:34:12,720 --> 00:34:13,960 what else has he paid for? 418 00:34:15,720 --> 00:34:16,800 A lot of things. 419 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:18,840 My bedsit? 420 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:21,200 Yes. 421 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:24,320 - My car? - Yes. 422 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:25,880 - My therapy? - Yes. 423 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:27,480 The therapy I use to talk about him? 424 00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:31,520 Yes, love, everything. Your clothes, your Christmas presents. 425 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,920 Converting your bedroom into an adult's room 426 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,120 so you can come back every time you have a breakdown. 427 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:39,240 Oh, is that right, is it? Well, I hope he accepts fucking refunds! 428 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,120 Oh, Niall! Wait! Niall! 429 00:34:43,240 --> 00:34:44,240 Wait! 430 00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:49,160 - Niall! - I don't fucking need him! 431 00:34:49,240 --> 00:34:51,080 - Stop this! - This clock? 432 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:53,640 - Did you buy it with his money? - Yes. 433 00:34:53,720 --> 00:34:55,400 - Done. - Jesus! 434 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,720 - This CD player? - This is ridiculous. 435 00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,320 Did he buy the CD player? 436 00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:00,680 - Yes, he bought it! - Fine! 437 00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:05,800 This… This signed Harrison Ford poster? 438 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,400 - Yes, Niall. - Really? 439 00:35:09,720 --> 00:35:11,760 - He bought the poster? - Yes, Niall. 440 00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:15,320 Okay. That's fine. 441 00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:23,040 - No. You know what? Fuck this. - Stop! 442 00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:25,640 - You're out of control! - You don't know what you've done! 443 00:35:25,720 --> 00:35:28,360 - You've made me his bitch! - Oh, my God! 444 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:30,160 - You're losing your mind! - Well, good. 445 00:35:30,240 --> 00:35:31,440 If Ruben's anything to go by, 446 00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,760 perhaps you'll start paying me some attention! 447 00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:41,800 I hate him. I fucking hate him. 448 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:43,400 - No, you don't. - I do. 449 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:47,240 - I'm his bitch! I'm his bitch! - Hey. 450 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:53,000 Come here. You are nobody's bitch, okay? 451 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,080 I sometimes wish he would just kill me, you know? 452 00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,320 Put me out my bastard misery. 453 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:12,640 He doesn't need to. 454 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,280 You're doing such a good job of it yourself. 455 00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:22,960 I have lost sleep over you, Niall. 456 00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:28,440 I keep thinking I'll wake up one day to find you've taken too much, 457 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,640 or contracted HIV… 458 00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:33,200 or done a Maura. 459 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,960 I think you need to move back in here and calm yourself a bit. 460 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:41,920 Meet someone. 461 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,880 They don't have to be perfect, they just have to be steady. 462 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:48,800 Settle down. In life. In yourself. 463 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:52,320 Give up these silly writing dreams. They're not doing you any good. 464 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:54,720 I can't. 465 00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:56,600 You can. 466 00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:01,720 One of the most lethal acts of self-harm you can commit 467 00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:05,440 is convincing yourself you're worthy of a higher purpose. 468 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:11,280 You were published five years ago. You sold less than 100 copies. 469 00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:15,760 You live in a bedsit in a shitty part of town. 470 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:20,000 Don't make me tell you to get a job, Niall. 471 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:26,600 At least have the self-respect to land on the conclusion yourself. 472 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:18,160 Hey. Come on. Fuck all this stuff, let's get inside. 473 00:38:18,240 --> 00:38:19,360 Lemme get that. 474 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:52,440 Oh, shit. 475 00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:01,520 Hey! Oi! Get back! Get back here! 476 00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,280 Hey! I can fucking see you! 477 00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:08,680 Get back, you little fucking shit. Hey! 478 00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:12,600 Hey! Get back here! 479 00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,720 Hey! Where the fuck are you? 480 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,200 Yeah, I can fucking hear you! 481 00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,560 Hey! Hey! 482 00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:05,760 Oi! 483 00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:07,960 What are you doing? 484 00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:11,800 Oh, sorry, I kicked my ball in here. 485 00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:15,120 It's Ruben from down the road. 486 00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,640 Oh, yes. Hello, dear. 487 00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:21,040 Sorry, I didn't recognize you with your top off. 488 00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,760 Here, I'll let you out the front of the house. 489 00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:25,800 You can get your ball back tomorrow. 490 00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:28,440 Don't move. 491 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:31,960 Don't make a fucking sound. 492 00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:35,920 - Ruben, please… - What did I just say? 493 00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:41,080 Are you going to kill me, Ruben? 494 00:44:42,240 --> 00:44:43,640 Is that it? 'Cause you shouldn't. 495 00:44:44,240 --> 00:44:47,320 - You have your whole life ahead of you. - Don't you talk about my life. 496 00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:51,520 - Not after what you did to it. - Oh, come on, Ruben. This is ridiculous. 497 00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:55,400 - I mean, what's it been now? - Fourteen years, seven months… 498 00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:57,920 23 days. 499 00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:01,240 - You've been counting, have you? - You're damn right I've been counting. 500 00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:06,440 So, what is this? 501 00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:11,000 What are you looking for here, huh? 502 00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:14,680 - Revenge? - Revenge? 503 00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:17,520 Now, there's an idea. 504 00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:19,840 Ruben, please, this isn't right. We should just stay apart. 505 00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:22,000 You have your own life to worry about now, and I have mine. 506 00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:23,800 That's why you were in my driveway, was it? 507 00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:26,880 That's why you scared my wife… 508 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:29,680 in the dead of the night? 509 00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:31,200 I wasn't on your driveway. 510 00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:32,800 - I was just passing through. - Oh, yeah? 511 00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:38,880 Explain this then. 512 00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:49,520 Explain it, you little rat… 513 00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,520 or I'll twist it up your fucking arse without lube. 514 00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:54,600 All right, Ruben! 515 00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:58,280 I didn't know it was your driveway. 516 00:45:58,360 --> 00:45:59,800 - Honestly, I didn't… - Have it your way then. 517 00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:01,640 - You fucking little fucking rat! - Jesus! Fuck's sake! 518 00:46:01,720 --> 00:46:04,520 Hey, hey, this is what you came back for? Wasn't it, Bambi, hey? 519 00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:05,840 - This is what you wanted, isn't it? - Help! 520 00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:07,040 - Fucking shut the fuck up. - Help! 521 00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:09,840 Shut the fuck up. Shut up, you little fucking rat. 522 00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:11,440 Trying to take something from me, were you? 523 00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:13,920 Hey! Hey! Come here, you little fucking rat. 524 00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,160 - No! No! - Yes! Hey, this is what 525 00:46:16,240 --> 00:46:17,760 - you've always wanted from me… - Don't, please! 526 00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:20,800 …isn't it, Bambi, yeah? Yes! Come on then. Hey? 527 00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:22,680 Are you ready for this, you little fucking rat? 528 00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:26,200 - Help! Just wait. - Shut the fuck up! 529 00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,280 - Shut… Shut the fuck up! - Wait. Stop. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. 530 00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:29,840 I'll tell you! Wait, I was angry! 531 00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:34,520 I wanted to take something from you to get a win, you know? 532 00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:37,480 A win? Don't you have enough wins, you fuck? 533 00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,120 Taking my life not enough, you wanted a piece of my car as well? 534 00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:41,280 Well, no, no, I didn't… 535 00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:43,680 I rotted in a prison for over a decade because of you. 536 00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:45,000 No, no, fuck! Wait! 537 00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:47,440 Just… Ruben! Look, I'll talk! 538 00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:50,800 No, wait! Ruben, Ruben, please, I'll talk. I'll do anything you want. 539 00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:52,760 I'll beg for forgiveness if that's what you want. 540 00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:54,000 Just don't do this, okay? 541 00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:08,480 Why'd you do it? 542 00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:13,720 - Ruben, it was 14 years ago. - Why'd you fucking do it? 543 00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:18,200 I guess I felt I owed it to justice to tell the truth. 544 00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:19,280 Justice? 545 00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:23,080 Justice is letting a recently diagnosed cancer patient 546 00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:25,240 watch her son go the clink? 547 00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:26,880 I felt like it at the time. 548 00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:29,040 No, I don't think it had anything to do with justice. 549 00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:32,480 I think you couldn't stand to see me doing well. 550 00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:35,120 - You were bitter. - Bitter? I was off to Oxford. 551 00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:38,200 - What did I have to be bitter about? - My real life. Your fucking fake one. 552 00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:39,680 Living in my shadow. 553 00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:42,720 You wanted me out of the way so you could flourish. 554 00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:48,600 How's it been in my absence, eh? Flying, are you? You little fucking cuck! 555 00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:53,760 Or did you realize the hard way, when you try and walk in my boots, 556 00:47:54,240 --> 00:47:56,000 they're always gonna slip off at the heel? 557 00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:01,120 You didn't like that, did you? 558 00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:05,160 You know, it kills you, doesn't it? 559 00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:06,960 To know that even in my absence, 560 00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:09,400 with all the fucking opportunities in the world at your feet, 561 00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:11,680 all you've done is kick up dust. 562 00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:15,640 While I, with my back against the wall, and a glass ceiling above my head, 563 00:48:15,720 --> 00:48:20,640 and a fucking army in my way, clamber over you to the top. 564 00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:22,760 I don't know what you're talking about, Ruben. 565 00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:23,840 I'm doing just fine. 566 00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:25,960 Oh, I know from your mum that's not the case. 567 00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:28,720 As she comes begging for money 568 00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:31,200 to solve all your pathetic little problems, 569 00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:34,120 your printing costs, your therapy. 570 00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:37,320 - She told you that, did she? - Oh, she told me everything. 571 00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:40,600 You know, I have to bite my lip from laughing 572 00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:43,040 as I hand over the money. You should see me. 573 00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:47,360 "Well, Ms. Kennedy, I hope he gets himself back on his feet soon." 574 00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:50,680 I mean, imagine it. 575 00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:54,640 I go to prison for 13 years, and you go to Oxford, 576 00:48:54,720 --> 00:48:56,960 and I'm the one lending you money. 577 00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:02,000 And you wonder if I'm here for revenge. 578 00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:06,600 Shit, son. Don't be ridiculous. 579 00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:09,640 It's already mine. 580 00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:12,520 Is that what you want, is it? 581 00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:14,440 Me to just admit that you're doing better than me? 582 00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:15,960 Well, you can have it. You're doing better than me, 583 00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:17,120 and I hate it. 584 00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:20,360 I hate that the scum always sits at the top of the water. 585 00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:22,960 But no, I'm not bitter. I'm gleeful. 586 00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:26,880 Because when you inevitably fuck it up, and you will fuck it up, 587 00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:29,720 I'll be the one grabbing the popcorn, watching you fall. 588 00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:35,120 Say it. 589 00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:37,520 - Say you were bitter. - No chance. 590 00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:39,040 I wasn't bitter in the slightest. 591 00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:41,200 I did what was right and you can beat me all you want. 592 00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:42,320 I'll never admit it. 593 00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:48,960 Okay. 594 00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:52,680 I admit I was bitter. Please don't hit me again. 595 00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:57,000 Fuck! I was bitter, okay? I was bitter. 596 00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:05,400 Bitter that you put me in that position in the first place. 597 00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:09,520 Bitter that you kept doing the same old shit. 598 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:13,240 Never learning, never growing, never accepting responsibility. 599 00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:14,680 Always smashing shit up 600 00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:16,600 and expecting others to pick up the pieces. 601 00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:18,320 Well, I wasn't gonna do it over the Alby stuff. 602 00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:20,240 Not when it put my freedom in danger. 603 00:50:21,240 --> 00:50:22,760 What would that teach you about life anyway? 604 00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:25,840 Life? I don't need to learn about life, rat boy. 605 00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:27,920 - I wrote the fucking book on it. - How? 606 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:32,240 You've done fuck all! You never applied yourself. 607 00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:35,040 You never got an education, or a degree, or a proper job. 608 00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:39,920 I've never got a degree or a proper job? Why the fuck would I need to do that? 609 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:43,480 I think you're forgetting, son. I don't need to work for status. 610 00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:45,160 I was born with it. 611 00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:48,720 I mean, why be a general manager or an academic 612 00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:50,320 when you're king of the fucking world? 613 00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:52,760 "King of the world." That's a joke. 614 00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:54,360 I'm not jealous of that. I'm jealous of the fact 615 00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:56,760 that you can so willfully think that without irony. 616 00:50:56,840 --> 00:51:01,080 Challenge me on it then! Prove me wrong! I'm your fucking muse! 617 00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:05,800 I'm the reason you have meaning in your miserable life! 618 00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:10,240 Don't tell me you sit there telling people about that time 619 00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:14,680 you fucking aced your exams, or you smashed out your dissertation. 620 00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:18,880 No. No, you tell them about that time we egged that house, 621 00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:20,640 we slashed those car tires, 622 00:51:20,720 --> 00:51:24,760 we took mushrooms down the lake and saw the water shoot green. 623 00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:27,680 I'm the soundtrack to your greatest moments. 624 00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:29,000 And it pains you to know 625 00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:31,200 that all your achievements fill you with a void, 626 00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:34,920 whereas a smile from me fills you with all the fucking energy you need. 627 00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:38,120 You might be the painter, Niall… 628 00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:41,160 but I'm the rolling hills. 629 00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:46,640 So, you can point at my CV, my 13 years in prison, 630 00:51:46,720 --> 00:51:49,240 and all the bullet points you need to think you're better than me. 631 00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:51,280 But you know fine well, 632 00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:55,440 you'd do 40 years in a windowless fucking cell… 633 00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:59,080 just to walk in my shoes for the day. 634 00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:06,320 I mean, look at you. I went to the clink for over a decade, 635 00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:09,840 and you didn't even do something worthwhile with your life. 636 00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:12,880 You didn't even give me something to take from you when I got back out. 637 00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:16,120 And just as I stop thinking about you… 638 00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,120 just as I pull my life together, 639 00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:23,440 you appear like a rat on my driveway. 640 00:52:25,120 --> 00:52:30,400 How dare you appear like a rat on my driveway? 641 00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:35,160 Come on, Ruben, with all due respect, you broke contact first. 642 00:52:35,240 --> 00:52:37,840 - How did I? - You talked to my mum about Maura. 643 00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:43,080 You don't talk about my mother, all right? You don't mention her name. 644 00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:44,320 But that's what I'm talking about. 645 00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:46,680 You and Lori in cahoots behind my back for four years. 646 00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:48,280 She didn't even tell me Maura was sick! 647 00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:56,480 What did I just say? 648 00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:58,760 What? I'm saying… 649 00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:02,800 - I'm saying I could have been there. - Been there? Are you kidding me? 650 00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:06,080 - She's half-brained because of you. - Half-brained because of me? 651 00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:08,280 I haven't seen her in 14 years since the court case. 652 00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:11,800 Well, it started with that, didn't it? The separation from Lori not long after? 653 00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:14,320 Because they couldn't come to terms with what you did. 654 00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,320 - You fucking did that! - I did that? 655 00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:19,160 Or was it looking after a fucking animal for a child? 656 00:53:19,240 --> 00:53:21,720 - Oh, you're talking real talk now. - Yeah, well, what do you expect? 657 00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:23,400 You're blaming me for your mother's suicide attempt. 658 00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:25,720 Oh, spare me the self-pity, you little prick! 659 00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:29,720 She did it while I was in prison! I mean, I couldn't even get to her! 660 00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:31,640 I couldn't even phone! 661 00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:33,920 I mean, imagine it! 662 00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:39,280 So, if you don't wanna take the blame for it… 663 00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:42,840 at least admit you wished it upon her. 664 00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:45,040 I didn't. 665 00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:47,680 She wished it upon you. 666 00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:55,760 You know what she used to call you? 667 00:53:57,240 --> 00:53:58,240 King Rat. 668 00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:01,160 You know why? 669 00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:04,520 Because you act like royalty… 670 00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:07,000 but you belong in the gutter. 671 00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:12,200 You're a gutter rat who looks in a mirror and sees a king. 672 00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:18,000 - Is that right? - Yeah. 673 00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:22,080 So, come on, gutter rat, come back at me. I know you want to. 674 00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:27,320 Well, it's a little glass house, isn't it, Ruben? 675 00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:31,880 If I'm in the gutter, I hate to think of where you both ended up. 676 00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:35,640 Yes! That's what I'm talking about! Come on, more of that, please. 677 00:54:35,720 --> 00:54:38,280 The gutter is something you and your mum can only aspire to. 678 00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:40,880 - Beautiful. Let's have it. Come on. - The court case was convenient, 679 00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:43,480 'cause she could draw an imaginary line between past and present 680 00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:46,480 and assuage her own responsibility in raising a fucking monster. 681 00:54:46,560 --> 00:54:48,880 "Oh, it's an illness," she would say, time and time again. 682 00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:50,800 "Oh, it's just an illness. He can't help it." 683 00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:54,240 But when on the fourth, or fifth, or even sixteenth time 684 00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:57,120 you stamp someone's head into the floor, does it stop being an illness 685 00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:00,880 and become some sick, sinister, fucking gleeful act of perverse violence? 686 00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:02,480 I've never once seen you show 687 00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:04,920 an ounce of remorse for what you did to that poor Alby boy, 688 00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:07,240 whose face, I hear, is still mangled, by the way. 689 00:55:07,720 --> 00:55:10,840 The callousness you possess is born straight out of your mother's heart. 690 00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:14,160 So, yeah, I hate her. I hate everything about her. 691 00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:16,520 I hate how she let you get away with near murder, 692 00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:19,040 but if I did anything minor, she was on me like a rash, 693 00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:21,400 turning my mother against me, squeezing the life out of me, 694 00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:23,000 because I was her second-chance child, 695 00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:25,520 seeing as how she so royally fucked up the first! 696 00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:29,800 But I mean, I don't expect her to be anything less than blinded by you. 697 00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:33,120 I mean, you hit her enough times to forget, didn't you? 698 00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:41,800 And the worst part about all of this is you are totally right. 699 00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:46,560 I would face 40 years in prison to walk in your shoes for a day. 700 00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:48,600 An hour even. 701 00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:51,200 To feel what it must be like to be you. 702 00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:53,600 To look the way you look. 703 00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:57,520 To fuck the way you fuck. To talk the way you talk. 704 00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:00,320 Hell, they can lock the door and throw away the key for all I care, 705 00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:02,880 because I would be happy to lie back on the bed 706 00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:05,400 and feel what it must feel like to be the center of the universe 707 00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:08,800 for a change rather than some cunt standing in the queue outside. 708 00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:14,680 I hate everything about you, and the giant shadow you cast, 709 00:56:14,760 --> 00:56:17,240 which seems to turn with the sun whichever way I'm walking. 710 00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:19,640 But that doesn't stop me… 711 00:56:21,240 --> 00:56:23,600 wanting every bit of it. 712 00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:27,880 So, yeah, I'm bitter. 713 00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:29,960 I'm bitter that I'm alone. 714 00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:33,360 I'm bitter that I have no money. 715 00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:38,440 Bitter that no matter how hard I try, how hard I work, sweat, and toil, 716 00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:41,320 I just can't find the click that's gonna make me happy. 717 00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:46,200 And I'm bitter that you went around apologizing to people 718 00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:48,680 and you didn't think about apologizing to me. 719 00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:54,160 And I'm bitter that I'm being blackmailed by some cunt. 720 00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:57,840 I'm bitter that I can't pay him off 'cause I'm broke 721 00:56:57,920 --> 00:57:00,360 or threaten him because I'm too pussy. 722 00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:05,000 And I'm bitter that I had the whole world at my fingertips. 723 00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:07,560 Scholarship, Oxford education, all of it. 724 00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:10,160 And I squandered it all thinking about you. 725 00:57:10,240 --> 00:57:12,480 - What the fuck are you talking about? - I couldn't breathe. 726 00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:15,000 I couldn't do fuck all 'cause my mind was still reeling 727 00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:17,520 from that bastard court case. I couldn't get it out of my mind. 728 00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:20,080 Your words, your screaming as you left. That you would make me ugly. 729 00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:24,160 I've seen you make people ugly, Ruben. I know what it means! 730 00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:28,840 I lived in fear of you from that point on. 731 00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:31,840 Just imagining all the things that you might do to me, 732 00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:33,560 that you might tell one of your prison mates about me 733 00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:35,240 and they would come looking for me when they got out. 734 00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:38,760 I woke up in the night once, convinced that you'd bugged the flat, 735 00:57:39,480 --> 00:57:42,520 that you were monitoring my every move. I started to sleep in the garden. 736 00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:44,880 I wandered the streets pulling up phone wires. 737 00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:51,560 I went through about 30 pen lids, swallowing them down whole, 738 00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:53,440 because I would chew on them when I wrote. 739 00:57:54,040 --> 00:57:55,800 And throwing them away wasn't safe enough 740 00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:58,520 because you might find them and use my DNA to pin a murder on me. 741 00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:02,320 I ended up in a madhouse. I had to have an operation on my gut. 742 00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:05,800 Why? 743 00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:08,560 Because I was telling the truth! 744 00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:12,520 And then you appear… 745 00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:14,520 out of nowhere, 746 00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:18,320 with a six-figure salary, and a house, and a girl, and a car. 747 00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:21,560 How dare you appear out of nowhere 748 00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:25,280 with a six-figure salary, and a house, and a girl, and a car? 749 00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:29,240 So, just be safe in the knowledge 750 00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:33,280 that when you're imagining the worst kind of revenge for me… 751 00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:38,040 nothing can come close to the damage that I've unleashed on myself. 752 00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,200 So, go ahead, Ruben, fucking kill me. 753 00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:43,160 I don't give a fuck. 754 00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:47,440 I'm already dead. 755 00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:14,560 I didn't know any of this. 756 00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:18,840 Yeah, well… 757 00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:22,040 Your mum never said that part. 758 00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:24,720 The part about the hospital. 759 00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:34,080 It's good to know she still has some respect for me left. 760 00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:45,520 You sound different. 761 00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:50,000 You talk different. 762 00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:54,960 I've done a lot of reading, Niall. 763 00:59:55,440 --> 00:59:57,400 Oh, great. So, now you're cleverer than me too. 764 01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:05,160 Yeah. 765 01:00:10,080 --> 01:00:11,440 You're getting blackmailed? 766 01:00:14,040 --> 01:00:15,160 Yes, sort of. 767 01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:17,960 Do you know their name? 768 01:00:18,800 --> 01:00:19,920 No, not like that. 769 01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:23,280 What do you need? 770 01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:27,920 Money. 771 01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:30,200 I've got money. 772 01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:36,560 What do you want in return? 773 01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:40,680 An apology… 774 01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:43,200 for what you did. 775 01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:52,080 That's it? 776 01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:55,200 It's a lot, Niall. 777 01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:57,840 It's a hell of a lot. 778 01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:08,200 I'm sorry. 779 01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:34,200 Well, I'm sorry too. 780 01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:11,440 Missed you, yeah? Missed you. 781 01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:14,880 Right, now, a proper toast. 782 01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:17,440 Come on, Alby, stand. 783 01:02:18,440 --> 01:02:19,440 Come on. 784 01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:33,160 To the happy couple… 785 01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:44,760 on their special day… 786 01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:54,880 at the start of a beautiful journey together… 787 01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:03,400 hand in hand… 788 01:03:09,640 --> 01:03:10,720 heart to heart… 789 01:03:16,480 --> 01:03:17,920 forever and ever. 790 01:03:25,480 --> 01:03:26,480 Amen.